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When someone has finished boring you to death about semicolons, they will often move on to 'who' versus 'whom'.

There is real danger with this issue, because using 'who' incorrectly makes you look ignorant and overusing 'whom' makes you look pretentious. Take your pick.

Context is everything, I guess. The well known book Who's Who really ought to be called Who's Whom and the publishers have got away with this for many years, rightly judging that Who's Who makes a better title.

It's really simple, anyway. It all revolves around whether the person we are refering to as 'who' is actually doing something. You use 'who' where you could use 'he' and you use 'whom' where you could use 'him'.

Who has been sleeping in my bed? (He has been sleeping in my bed)
Someone is actually doing something here, so it's 'who'.

To whom should I send the cleaning bill? (Send the bill to him)
We are refering to a person here – he is not doing anything so it's 'whom'.

Use with caution. If you have painted yourself into a corner where you're having to use 'whom' awkwardly, go back and rephrase the whole thing.

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